ashhmonster

it still hurts..

so today is redid my room a little…nothing major just added some stuff to the walls like photos, magazine clippings, playbills, etc.

i went through some drawers and found some old notes and clippings and all of my england stuff..but then i found, well you.

i found a note i must have hidden behind some books, why i did i dont remember but i read it and cried..its was so endearing and sweet and it sang about how you loved me and how you had never felt this way about anyone else and when i read the last sentence…i got so angry i crumpled it up and threw it aside..

little did i know i would find the notes from freshman year math..the ones we passed to eachother that no one else read. our secrets were locked in those small lined sheets, all of your good and bad moments were inked blotted and scribbled quickly on those few scratch papers…

i plan to give all of those notes and sayings back to you, seeing as i have no use for them now…you have found someone new…those notes dont apply to me, although im sure she will never compare to me in any way, shape or form.

you hurt me, tore me apart, left me for dead, then dropped me completely…if i had seen this coming, if i had known the person you would become…i would have never spoken to your first in english..i would have let you suffer that entire year…alone…and god only knows where you would be right now.

i get so angry and upset and frustrated with you because….well…the worst part is…i think i still love you but i cant tell you that. i cant explain this to you because your girlfriend will find one more excuse to be a bitch to me. or you would turn away from me…forever..so it sit in class and silently hold to myself my secret

my heart died that day. but you went on living…

new moon

so i saw the movie today and i am in love with taylor lautner!

some may be like omg you twitard youre just following the cult..no i was curious and i thought the movie was good! long but good!

but my biggest thing is how jacob treated bella, and she totally blew him off..like seriously? i would die for someone to do the things he did for her for me! thats why i hated the books..one.cause the story gets old and dry but two.stephnie meyer has no friggin clue what a teenage girl really wants.

yeah ohk maybe its what i want in a guy but still…who doesn’t want someone to talk to them nonstop and not judge you for your past? who doesn’t want a sweet guy who would do anything, go anywhere, and put up with anyone just so he could be with you and only you..i mean come one stephnie…i know how the movie ended but please, edward has done nothing but cause heartache for bella…he cant even kiss her without trying to bite the crap outta her..

not to mention how EVERY vampire who isnt edward or his family (excluding jasper) wants to take a nice juicy chomp out of bella’s neck.

i guess what im saying is that i feel like im the only one who doesn’t have someone, everyone around me has somebody…winter ball was awkward as hell cause cloud and jordan are positively adorable and that makes me jealous (no offense cloud)! derek and anna are so close and happy that they have lasted over a year….why cant i have that? why cant that be me?

where’s my jacob….

black friday

I WANNA SHOOOP!!

kthnxbai

Tagged: kthxgiving